How To Save Marriage In Crisis - Relationship Advice, Creating ...

Is your marriage in crisis mode and about to break up? If so, find out here how to save your marriage and restore the love you have for each other.

Love in a relationship is never constant. Sometimes, its presence is so powerful and sometimes it is just so elusive. Believe it or not, one of the most common myths in a marriage is that when one loses that loving feeling, we belief that the relationship is over.

It's not. How do I know? I know from the many testimonies and sharing that I come across, couples do get back together.

If your husband or partner tells you that he doesn?t have that loving feeling for you like he used to have, don't panic and over react! It doesn't mean your marriage or relationship is over.

I believe what they mean is that, ?I have lost my way...I need to be reminded of our love and what it means to love.?

And most likely, he doesn't understand the various stages that love in a relationship goes through. So this is a very good opportunity for you to take charge and steer the relationship into an even more loving and rewarding one. You can rekindle the love in your relationship.

One very important key to saving your marriage in crisis

Is ?in understanding what is happening in your marriage and the role that love plays.?

You see, there are many types of love : agape, philia, storge and eros. There are also various stages of love. Love is not just a feeling that comes and goes. If marriages depend on feelings alone, then many would be doomed from the very beginning.

Love Cycle

Let's look at the love cycle. When we first court our ?love? one, the initial thrill of romance is wonderful. Studies have shown that this stage of love last for about two years. We get married and when the initial euphoria is over, we feel lost and confused. We think maybe he or she is not the one after all because the feeling of love is gone. And when this coupled with all the marital problems that comes with it, we certainly need help to save our marriage in crisis.

Love is not just a feeling that carries us into cloud nine. Because sooner or later, you will have to return to reality to face the facts of life. That is, the prospect of spending the rest of your life together, for better or for worst, till death do us apart.

So, the right question to ask is...

?How do I continue to love my husband and stay in the marriage despite the demise of the initial thrill??

Here are five ways to grow your marriage from euphoria stage to mature love stage :

a) It helps to understand that every relationship has stages.

• courtship stage : falling in love,
  
• the honeymoon stage : pleasing your partner in every way,
  
• reality hits in stage : chaos or disillusionment,
  
• mature love stage : resolution or take action to 'love' your partner and do all you can and able to make the relationship work.
  

b) Know that love is not just a feeling.

If we don?t feel love doesn?t mean the relationship is over. Love as I know it is a commitment and a conscious effort on our part to show acts of ?love? to our partner. A writer puts it very nicely : A mature person loves by choice and not simply by circumstances.

c) Try to understand your partner's feelings and where he is coming from.

Take turns to talk and share about yours and his feelings in a non-judgemental way and find out what is the real issue. Blaming is out of the game. You may consider having a trusted friend or counselor to act as a mediator to help you examine your present situation.

d) Have a positive outlook in life.

I know it is hard but really very necessary. Pick up a sport or regular exercise program. Join a club with like minded people or those who share the same interests. You know, it is never too late to learn. And we should pamper ourselves or do something positive for ourselves.

e) Engage in some self-improvement course.

You may search this site for help or take up an online Safe Your Marriage course. Its true you can't afford to give your marriage 50%. You need to give it your 100%. There are proven ways and information you can learn to save your marriage in crisis.

I want to end with an advice from my favorite motivational speaker, Zig Ziglar :

"When disagreements take place, who makes the move to "make up" isn't important. The one who makes the move demonstrates the greater maturity and love..."

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